Sidekick: Rumble
A little fight never hurt anyone
Piledriver Kitties!
Even though they're snuggling in this weird, adorable position, I couldn't help but notice that it looks like Jayne is piledriving Shitpancake.
Heads up to new readers:
This story is part of a series. Luckily, you can read the whole Sidekick series for free!
…Time for this week’s story…
Sidekick: Rumble
Metripol City, a sprawling metropolis full of some of the greatest skyscrapers and technology in the world. The home of Paragon Man and a number of other powerful heroes, it was a beacon of hope around the world. It was also the home of Violet Volt, a villain Theo set free from Justice Tower. The bewitching woman with a purple streak through the front of her long black hair was visiting her home for the first time since her capture. Hidden beneath a hat and shades, Violet was accompanied by Hydraxia and her teammates, Jack and Nuna.
“This area is a little close to the hero deployment facility, but they also don't patrol it much so it tends to be pretty laid back,” Violet told Hydraxia.
They walked along the border of the business and industrial zones while discussing their expansion into the city. “This spot and the first place are perfect. The last place has great coffee nearby, though,” Hydraxia said.
“There isn't a lot of foot traffic. We can probably walk around without drawing any attention.” Nuna lagged behind for a moment to take pictures. A shadow passing overhead drew her attention towards the sky and she screamed, “above us, watch out!”
Everyone scattered. Something like a mortar shell landed in the middle of the group. From the dust and cratered cement, a casual yet gritty voice called out.
“Hydraxia. So nice of you to show yourself. I see you’ve got some new tattoos since I last saw you.” Rising to his feet was a man in a green and black super suit patterned with scales and a ridge of decorative spikes running along the center of his head down his back. With a menacing grin, he stared down Hydraxia. It was the same dehumanizing look she used to dread seeing every day at work. Hydraxia could vividly smell the musk of his cologne and afternoon drinks with the lingering aroma of cigarettes breathing down her neck.
“Dinocon!” Hydraxia didn’t even finish saying his name before she transformed. Whether it was her survival instinct or bloodthirst, she was focused and lightning fast. Her body burst into her now eight-story-tall steely blue-gray hydra form and one of her serpentine necks lunged at Dinocon. He dodged easily, then relished in his own transformation. The muscular man erupted into a dinosaur every bit as tall as Hydraxia. It had the head and overall body of a tyrannosaurus, but the long arms of another dinosaur as well as the spine ridges and spiked tail of a stegosaurus. The last parts to grow in were the horns of a triceratops.
“I’m here to collect on behalf of Blackstone for all the trouble you caused us!” Dinocon charged at Hydraxia horns-first. The two giants traded blows in the street, occasionally taking a chunk out of a building.
One by one, alarms rang in buildings nearby and people evacuated, avoiding the street with the conflict. A few people got as close as they dared to take pictures or record video before hurrying to safety. Helpless in a fight with giants, Nuna found Jack and Violet. They watched in awe as the two monsters thrashed about the spacious area before Jack realized he could help.
“Are you two okay here?” he asked. With a confirmatory nod from them, the lower half of Jack’s body turned into bats and he flew into the fight, spiralling up Dinocon’s armored body. When he reached the neck, he dug his fangs into the thin skin behind the jaw. Dinocon roared in pain and Hydraxia followed up, sinking her own teeth into him, slamming his massive body to the ground.
“Sentinel Team One, I need backup!” Dinocon boomed. With Hydraxia biting into his arm and ribs, he fended off her other attacks as best he could. Dinocon’s energy drained from his neck like a steady stream. He only needed to hold off for a minute or so before his backup arrived. When they did, he breathed a heavy sigh of relief.
Striking from above, Dinocon’s backup beat Jack and Hydraxia off of him. He was now flanked on either side by a team wearing matching helmeted uniforms, each color-themed with the exception of one handsome man with graying hair who wore only slacks and a button-up shirt. Their motorcycle-style helmets looked like animals and had screens that looked like an open toothy maw.
Hydraxia swiveled one of her heads around to her team. “This isn’t good. Call for backup.”
Dinocon, side-eyed Hydraxia, who had grown much stronger. “Red Viper, Blue Bear, you two take care of that energy vampire. I don’t know what those girls do, so White Tiger, Silver Fox, go take care of them. Green Dragon, you’re with me.”
“White Tiger, looks like we got the easy job,” said the man in slacks.
With Red Viper and Blue Bear closing in on either side, Jack was isolated. “Sorry, Heidi, looks like I won’t be able to help much,” he said. He thought Hydraxia’s name was too long, so he’d taken to calling her Heidi, but he was the only one allowed to do so.
“Just take care of yourself until backup arrives,” Hydraxia replied.
Red Viper was a thin woman who moved quickly. She tackled Jack and wrapped herself around him like a snake. Jack burst into bats to escape her grip and flew past the hulking muscle-man, Blue Bear, who turned into a massive bear and swiped wildly at the swarm of bats. Not apt to fight multiple opponents, Jack opted to keep moving. Meanwhile, Nuna and Violet were confronted with their opponents, who didn't open as aggressively.
“My, my, what a pair of beautiful young ladies we've got here. You can just call me, Fox. Now, I don't want to hurt either of you, so why don't you just sit right there and let us take that little trouble-maker with us?” Fox said with a charming smile.
“Yeah, how about we just get some noodles instead?” Nuna said.
The tall wooden post that Nuna was leaning on turned soft like a wet noodle and collapsed under it's own weight, dragging power lines down with it. The cables flailed wildly, sending sparks flying everywhere. Nuna and Fox took cover, but White Tiger stood confidently in place, protected by his armor.
Violet Volt, on the other hand, grabbed a wire by its exposed end. Her eyes lit up bright blue and the few seconds it took for White Tiger to attack were all she needed. A giant swirl of energy turned into a tiger paw and came down on Violet like a hammer with White Tiger’s attack.
“An energy attack, huh? You looked like the physical type. I guess I didn't need this.” Violet tossed away the power cable and punched White Tiger square in the chest, cracking his armor and sending him flying.
“Woah. That was intense,” Fox chuckled. Before he realized it, Nuna dug a sword into his gut. To her surprise, it slipped in and out without leaving a mark.
“If you're into me, you can't hurt me. That's how my power works.” Fox winked at Nuna.
“That a fact?”
Fox turned to see Violet standing on the other side of him. A punch to the chest from her sent him flying.
“Into older guys, huh?” Violet asked. With flushed cheeks, Nuna gave her a sheepish shrug. “Well, now that I'm juiced up, I guess it's time to help.”
Violet joined Hydraxia in her fight against Dinocon and Green Dragon, who had transformed into a massive dragon. Using the energy she had absorbed to leap around and attack, she managed to get a couple good punches on Green Dragon and even the odds.
“I guess your teammate left you to the wolves,” White Tiger said to Nuna, brushing himself off. A wave of energy smashed into him a moment later, slicing through his suit. A gush of blood burst from his chest.
“Let's clean up.” Slicer led Mira and Dominic into the battle, hurrying to help Jack. Nuna stayed close. Red Viper and Blue Bear were quickly overwhelmed, and the gang began to close in on their enemies.
Despite the clear, sunny day, black clouds swirled above the battleground. Nobody noticed until thunder cracked above them, and by then it was too late. It was as if a bomb landed in the middle of the battle, knocking everyone to the ground. Standing at the epicenter was a tall, lean man with dark skin, sharp features and a dominating presence that was even more palpable than his entrance. He looked upon the battlefield, then turned to Dinocon. The man's voice was deep and smooth.
“I thought you said you could handle her? This is getting out of hand. Let's finish this.”
“Yes, Black Thunder, sir.”
Dinocon began his attack again in earnest. Green Dragon went to assist, but Violet was there to challenge him. Black Thunder held and a hand out and fired off a wave of destructive energy. It hit Violet dead-on, but it only charged her up. He pivoted to Slicer’s group, firing another blast. Dominic manifested a giant shield to protect them, but the attack persisted. Black Thunder modulated the frequency and the shield began to rattle apart, returning to the aether.
Violet Volt noticed the danger and leapt to attack Black Thunder, but mid-air, she was wrapped up by a gooey substance and dangled from a light post.
“Woah! What a mess! This looks like a job for your friendly municipal Splatter-Man! Splatter-Man, Splatter-Man, does whatever a splatter can! One of my fans made a song for me. I can't stop singing it!”
A thin man in green, light blue and red head-to-toe tights with big eyes black flipped into the battle. He shot out long, elastic, sticky hands like the ones kids play with and used them to swing around the area, leaving them dangling in his wake. He twirled through the air and took playful jabs at everyone.
“Need a hand?” A massive voice boomed. From the south end of the street, a ten-story-tall woman with a ponytail turned the corner.
“Hey Gigantica! If you could help with the big snake lady that'd be great!” Splatter-Man said.
Gigantica took aim at Hydraxia, who managed to drag Dinocon in front of her to bare the brunt of Gigantica’s punch. The battle intensified as the gang scrambled to deal with the increasingly dire situation.
“LeFiels, send Morpho!” Slicer called in.
“No,” LeFiels chirped in Slicer’s earpiece. “Only if the big guy shows up. I'm sending someone else.”
“Just make it quick!”
The few moments it took were an eternity to those in battle. Then, a thin Asian guy wearing bright orange sneakers and basketball shorts appeared in the middle of the street. He examined the battle before him, then pulled a large plastic figure from his pocket.
“Let's go, Cosmotron! Robot protector of the Universe!”
He held the figure high and it glowed so bright it halted the fight. A moment later, a giant robot stood ten stories tall over the battle.
Gigantica was the first to attack, but her punch simply dinged against the metal. Cosmotron returned the punch in kind, sending Gigantica tumbling down the street. Black Thunder fired an energy blast at Cosmotron. Mostly unfazed, Cosmotron kicked at Black Thunder. After missing, it kicked Dinocon, who was nearby.
“What a disaster. Everyone, pull out. This is over,” Black Thunder ordered. They cleared out quickly, evacuating their injured and vanishing like they were never there.
With the whirring of a helicopter approaching and their enemies gone, Cosmotron vanished and Hydraxia turned back into her human form. “I think it's fair to say this location is cooked. Thanks for the save, Playfight. Mira, get us out of here.”
The gang evacuated quickly, leaving Splatter-Man wondering where everyone went. Standing on top of a damaged building with his chest puffed up, he declared victory.
“Looks like the heroes saved the day again!”
Next Time
Gargoyleman: Clown College