Cats

Meet the adorable kitties that accompany every story - and who you support by becoming a King Sized Subscriber. All of our cats are rescues.

My wife had 4 tuxedo cats before we moved in together. They were rescued in two pairs. The oldest boys were adopted after the kittens were dumped off somewhere and the younger two were part of a large litter of cats where the mother was not making enough milk. They are named after Sci-Fi bad asses. Well… with one exception.

Han

The oldest of all the cats, Han is the law in this house. He doesn’t do much, he’s dopey as hell, and he’s as sweet as a button. He’s also one of the biggest cats and it’s easy to tell him apart from the white stripe on his nose.

Lando

Quiet and stealthy, Lando has hilariously awkward timing. It’s almost as if he does it on purpose… Anyway, this understated kitty has a little white spot on his nose and is the second-oldest of the bunch.

Jayne

Look at Jayne, contemplating the universe from atop this box. Jayne is shy about asking for love, but bold about stealing food from his brothers. This coy kitty is one of the biggest cats, tied with Han, and ties for youngest of the boys.

Mal Shitpancake “The Mongoose”

The story my wife tells me is that he was named Mal as a kitten, but he aimed to misbehave too many times and was renamed Shitpancake, AKA “The Mongoose” for his long body and short legs. He is the cat that annoys all the other cats the most and knocks things off table tops when he is bored or hungry. He has earned his new name.

The girls were litter mates, both abandoned by their mother before they were 2 weeks old. I gave them boy names even though they’re girls because all they did as kittens was brawl. So, I named the one with them Zoro and Sanji. At just over a year old, they are the youngest kitties of the bunch.

Zoro

Almost as big as the big boys now, Zoro is a big girl with a spot of color above her left eye like an eyepatch. She is dopey and kind of dumb, but wants love more than anything else.

Sanji

Sanji is feisty as all hell and makes things harder than they have to be. She is the smallest of all the cats, and up until now has a permanent kitten look to her face with extra big eyes and ears. The boys really love messing with her, and she totally does it to herself.

That’s the family!

Free Subscribers get weekly kitty pics.

King Sized Subscriber get to sleep knowing they helped give these adorable kitties a good life.

Champions of the Realm also get a copy of the yearly printed anthology featuring every kitty picture from that year