The Ballad of Elfis
Rock and Roll is about freedom, man
Porch Kitty!
Adorable and majestic, Han overlooks the parking lot from our porch like a superhero looking over his city.
…Time for this week’s story…
The Ballad of Elfis
Rock and roll is about freedom. After two hundred years of subjugation, one brave elf took center stage to spread the magic of rock and roll. Some elves call him a trouble maker, but others think he was the bravest elf who ever lived. Don’t listen to the stories that say he was actually from another elf village far away. Nor the claims that he blew in with a blizzard and vanished just the same. The truth isn’t as simple as any of those tall tails. When it comes to ice elves, there is no more legendary a tale than the story of the one they called, Elfis.
Nobody knows what his name was before. What is known, at least amongst his fans, is that he worked the toy lines just like everyone else. But, he put a little extra love and care into his toys. Always going off-spec, he added his own touches. This brought all those kids extra joy. He collected all that magic until he couldn’t bottle it up any more and it burst from within him. A bright light filled the toy factory. When the smoke and glitter cleared, standing on a magical platform was Elfis.
“Oh yeah, that’s what I’m talkin’ about, baby,” he said.
Wearing a flashy white and gold outfit with a big collar and boots, he was an incredible sight to behold. Combing his fingers through the stylish hair curl dangling in front of his face, he held a hand out. A microphone appeared from a poof of smoke. Elfis tapped his foot and music began to play from all around. Cradling the microphone tenderly in front of him, he let loose a song with his smooth, velvety voice.
He touched the desire for freedom burning inside the hearts of other elves. Only those who were too afraid to dream watched in terror as everyone around them stopped making toys and burst into dance. The fearful elves were too afraid to stop making toys to try to put a stop to the pandemonium of lights and music.
Naturally, the big guy showed up. King of the Arctic, a rotund wizard with a fluffy white beard named Santa Claus burst into the factory. His jaw dropped at the bedlam he beheld and his face turned as red as his suit. Elfis slid into his sights, wiggled his hips and gave him a wink.
Santa pulled out his candy cane wand and launched fireballs at the rogue elf. Elfis sang and danced, turning the fireballs into bursts of confetti and transformed the elven rags into hip dancing clothes. Santa’s relentless attacks forced Elfis outside. He disappeared into the blizzard and the factory went back to normal. Once Santa left, the elves discussed what happened and how much fun they had. Many danced in place while they worked. Despite the nagging of the fearful elves, they sang Elfis’s songs.
“A little more fight makes things a little less stark, don’t close your eyes and steel your heart. There’s more to life, hear me girls and boys, than being chained to a desk, stuck making toys.”
Elfis burst into toy factories singing and dancing, then battled Santa until he was chased back outside and vanished. A manhunt combed the city for Elfis, but found only the aftermath of dance parties. The jingling bells of reindeer patrols flying overhead became a part of everyday life. The fearful elves cursed Elfis and what a bad influence he was. However, a growing number of elves discussed the ideas in his music. Listening in secret, they called Elfis, The King, to spite Santa.
The night before Christmas, elf families lined up for their Christmas double-serving of bread and flavorless slop. With their one day off all year coming up, everyone was in good spirits. The singing of Christmas carols grew louder until one song crescendoed into an explosion of lights and music.
Elfis appeared, singing and dancing all around the large courtyard. Everyone’s food transformed into a proper feast of meat, potatoes with gravy, cranberry sauce and a slice of their favorite pie. It had been so long since some elves had eaten so well, they cried. The young ones, of course, had never tried such amazing food. Enraged and insulted, Santa brought the party to a screeching halt.
“Who do you think you are? Don’t you realize we’re bringing joy to kids near and far? Before me, this tribe of elves was in ruin! You’ve survived thanks to me!”
“You can’t oppress us forever. Elves are magical creatures meant to be singing and dancing, not cogs in a machine,” Elfis said.
“Then where will your people get the happiness they need for their magic?” Santa asked.
“We can make toys, we can make music, if an elf has a talent, let ‘em use it! I used to make music before you came along. What makes us unique is what makes us strong,” Elfis said confidently. Santa’s angry demeanor slowly melted away. Stroking his beard, he rose to his feet.
“You know, little Elfis, you’ve got a point! There’s no reason we can’t use music to bring joy to all the girls and boys,” Santa said. Elfis and the other elves all smiled with glee. Santa walked across the courtyard with a smile and reached out an arm.
Elfis and Santa shook hands, but only for a moment. Several stabs from a candy cane dagger to the gut brought Elfis to his knees, blood staining the snow beneath his feet. Elves screamed and cried as Elfis collapsed. Then, Santa addressed the crowd.
“Now, let that be a lesson to you all. If you reach too high, I’ll make sure you fall.”
Behind closed doors, Elfis’s music still plays. His legend endures, and so too do his words. Some elves put more love into their toys and save up their magic. They don’t know what will happen when they have enough, and they are eager to find out for themselves.