Magic Cellmate
A modern day wizard takes on the law
Kitten Pillow Kitten
One of my neck pillows is a cat. When I got cats, they snuggled up in the cat neck pillow. I know they didn’t realize it was a cat, it was just a comfy thing for them to lay on, but I’m glad I caught a few pics of them doing this.
…Time for this week’s story…
Magic Cellmate
“Stand away from the door,” a guard barked into the gloomy gray cell which housed a single prisoner.
Chuck did as he was told and stood back. The door clanked open and a new prisoner was guided inside. The short, friendly man smiled and happily raised his hands for the guards to remove his shackles. He bid the guards farewell, wishing them a nice day.
This man had no fear. It was a sign to Chuck that this seemingly innocuous stranger was dangerous. His best bet was to make friends with him as quickly as possible.
“Hey, buddy. I guess you're my new cellmate. I'm Chuck.”
“Hiya Chuck! I'm Eli. Nice to meet you. How long have you been here? There's nothing on the walls. What's the deal?”
“Yeah, been here a couple weeks for assault and battery. Grown man crossed a bad line with my little girl. He's breathing out of a tube now.”
“Oh man. He's the one who ought to be in prison.” Eli said.
“You can say that again. What are you in for?”
“Manslaughter!” Eli said gleefully. Chuck's fears were confirmed. This cheerful man was a cold-blooded killer.
“You sound, uh… real happy about it.”
“Oh, well, I'm not happy about the manslaughter, but I'm excited to be here!” Eli pointed at the bunk beds. “Which one is yours?”
“Uh… I've been on the bottom bunk because of my bad knee. but you can have whichever you want.”
“Don't be crazy! I'll take the top bunk. Always wanted the top bunk as a kid but my older brother always got it.”
Already, Eli’s traumas were painting a picture of his bloodthirst. Chuck had made the right call by letting him pick the bunk. So far, so good.
“Mind if I ask about that manslaughter?”
“Oh, sure. I've never killed anyone else, but the guy put me in a corner. I didn't see another choice.”
“That does make me feel a little better.”
“Good! I don't want to kill people. I just wanted to prove that magic is real.”
“What do you mean? Are you a magician?”
“No, I mean like this.” Eli sat down and took off his shoe. With both hands he grabbed his shoe then pulled them apart. The shoe split into two perfect copies.
While Chuck picked up his jaw from the floor, Eli put one shoe back on. The new shoe he crumpled into a ball, then fluffed and breathed into it like he was warming his hands. After a few breaths, he handed the new item to Chuck. It was a steaming hot pork bun.
“What the hell?”
While Chuck enjoyed the delicious pork bun, Eli explained that he had been working on his magic for a few years. It started with small things like correctly anticipating the next song to play, and gradually built up to larger things. After working as a magician for a few years, he wanted to show people he was doing real magic. He quit being a magician and started performing in his street clothes.
Eli went to malls and schools, but everyone just thought he was a magician doing tricks. He hired a friend to start recording so he could put it online to show the world. Then, he began walking the city streets and going to bars to perform for people. He always had the same angle: he was there to prove that magic is real. Of course, everyone thought it was a bit done for entertainment purposes.
Early one evening, Eli and his friend found themselves at a bar. Eli was doing magic while everyone watched and applauded, whispering to each other how they thought he did each trick. A drunk patron claimed to know how Eli was doing his tricks. Eli invited him to try, but the man couldn't do any of them. He accused Eli of setting him up to look bad. Eli did more magic to prove they were no tricks, but the man wouldn’t have it.
When the muscular man attacked, Eli defended himself. The size difference, however, made it challenging. With the man's hands wrapped around his neck, Eli saw no option but to use magic. Eli thrust his fingers into the man's chest, then wiggled his hand deeper. Mouth agape and croaking, the man looked down to see Eli’s hand buried in his chest. A few seconds later, Eli pulled out the man’s still-beating heart. The oaf collapsed to the ground, chest bloody but with no hole.
Eli was arrested that night and the video was taken as evidence. The police claimed he disposed of a weapon before they arrived.
Standing proudly in court, Eli pleaded not guilty, unless the court was willing to recognize magic as his murder weapon.
The court laughingly dismissed his words and the case was heard. Witness after witness claimed he used real magic and the video showed no weapon. For weeks they denied magic as the murder weapon until they could not.
They finally ruled that magic was indeed the weapon used and he acted in self defense. However, since Eli had magic at his disposal and did not try any alternative methods of getting the guy off him, he still got some prison time for manslaughter.
“And, you're good with that?” Chuck asked.
“Of course! Magic is legally real now. I'll gladly do a little time if it means proving that.”
“Yeah, but, life here sucks. Why wouldn't you use magic to get out of here?”
“Because, they were right. I went straight for the kill, it was a bad move. Just because I have magic doesn't mean I can be irresponsible with it. Besides, what's so bad about this place?”
Eli walked to the sink and poured water into an empty container. The water turned yellow. Eli took a drink and handed it to Chuck. Chuck curiously took a sip. It was beer!
“What do you think?” Eli asked.
“I think I got the best cellmate ever!”